2014: An Obligatory Post About Arbitrary Things

This is rather late insofar as 1 might call it a post actually about New Year. That said, something along these lines is probably necessary. It makes me appear like I might be able to relate to you personally or something. In order to maintain this illusion, this post is miscellaneous, not terribly interesting, & will be the only post on this blog that will not quote Marx, Lenin or Gramsci. Anyway, yes, I hope you all had good “iconoclasm for profit” & “the earth has circled the sun again, ain’t that neat?” days. 

To proceed, on New Year’s Eve I went to the parade in Newcastle City Centre, before engaging in any form of alcohol fuelled frivolity. This majestic spectacle of tin-foil, cardboard, plastic & body-paint occurs once a year. It is organised by the same council that cut £108m from Newcastle’s public spending budget, the same council which victimises working-class people with its fierce & unlawful implementation of the Bedroom Tax, the same council which invests pension funds into bloodsucking loan sharks like Wonga[1]. To put it bluntly, this year I didn’t expect a parade. I expected council staff to wander the streets, holding lighters above their heads, with Nick Forbes (Labour Council Leader) carried upon a gilded throne behind them, pretending to cry.

As it turns out, I was wrong. Whilst purportedly not having enough money to ease the suffering of thousands of people, or having enough power to challenge anyone to change this fact, apparently Newcastle council can afford perfectly well to hire people to carry mechanical fish, a drum band that reminded me rather painfully of Kraftwerk, & some form of Smurf morris dancing troupe. The theme, which I’ll admit wasn’t very clear, was Vikings. I assume this was chosen to simultaneously reinforce 2 reactionary ideas. 1stly, racism – or if we were to be abstract, scholarly & stupid, the fear of the “other”. I’m fairly certain that the idea of an invading army, marching through the streets of Newcastle, was chosen in order to subconsciously work it’s way into the racist propaganda surrounding the impending “invasion” of Romanians. 2ndly, to reinforce delusions of powerlessness. This is rather simple. The rear guard of the parade were dressed in army uniforms, which metal helmets, & painted in red. Clearly, this is meant to represent the Labour Party’s standing army, which will crush you if you attempt to question any aspect of their racist, parasitic existence.

The centre-piece of the parade, by which I mean the largest thing & thereby the most eye-catching & impressive in accordance with basic aesthetic laws, was a crudely made Viking long-boat. It spat fire & was almost certainly intended to be Nick Forbes’ throne. A debate could be had as to where he might have been intended to sit. As it stands, it was populated only by a dancing Viking, waving his axe in time to a bizarre pop-song. There was something poetic in the image; remember, poetry doesn’t always have to be good.

My next anecdote takes place the following morning, after a wonderful evening filled with lovely people [note: this is the only sentence here which conveys a genuinely happy emotion]. I went online & looked at Twitter. I looked at what was trending, & saw that #LiberalismIn4Words featured at the top of the list. My response was to post this:

ImageAn even better response:

Image[Note: “Rising Echo” persuaded me to write this. She’s pretty mint & was being sarcastic.]

I mention this to bring this post to a close. As we enter 2014, it strikes me as rather disconcerting that #LiberalismIn4Words is something which is discussed all that much. Austerity isn’t gonna stop, Imperialism isn’t going to stop etc & yet, people wanna talk about being liberal? In conclusion, only hippies seem to enter into popular political dialogue on Twitter anymore, Liberalism wouldn’t have been trending otherwise. If you decide to make any new years resolutions this year, let it be this: fight back. Get angry, get active & break as many fucking bongo drums as you can.


[1] For more information, see the following articles: “Newcastle Labour Council cuts: 8 million more reasons to break with Labour and build a new movement” (http://goo.gl/vtyAr4); “Newcastle labour council £100m budget cuts” (http://goo.gl/TakrOc); “Newcastle residents fight back against the Bedroom Tax – 19 December 2013” (http://goo.gl/SX1LL9); “Payday ban Newcastle City Council invests in Wonga” (http://goo.gl/74MO7u).

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